One For The Road
by Invader Johnny
Summary: Every relationship has it's ups and downs, both girls find that out the hard way when Tori goes through a dark time and Jade being there to try and stop it, established Jori.
1. Religion

_**Title: One For The Road.**_

_**Writer: Invader Johnny**_

_**Disclaimer: Victorious belongs to Dan, I own squat!**_

_**Plot: Every relationship has it's ups and downs, both girls find that out the hard way when Tori goes through a dark time and Jade being there to try and stop it, established Jori.**_

_**Author Notes: What can I tell you about this story? Originally this was meant to be a part of my "50 Shades of Jori" sequel I was writing but kinda grew into its own thing, that being said, this story will take place in the same universe as my "50 shades" fic and I will eventually post said sequel.**_

_**Anyways read, review and most of all enjoy it!**_

* * *

Tori was sitting on the couch, watching a movie or rather, _hearing_ the movie, she was far more preoccupied with her phone and the text messages she was receiving every ten seconds.

_**"Why are you over at Robbie's watching the movie when you could be here watching it with me?" **_Tori wrote and sent.

A few seconds later she received a reply.

**_"Because Robbie won't try to make out with me every minute of the movie, and even if he did I would sew his lips shut slowly and painfully!"_**

Tori smiled, Jade really became an influence on her.

**_"I love you Vega, I really do but if we stay in the same room whenever there's something good on TV then I'll miss all the gory stuff"_**

Tori smiled, she knew Robbie and Jade were only friends, even if the term was loosely used and in fact had no trouble with them spending time together, especially after she found out that her girlfriend had a geeky side, she figured why not let her enjoy it with the only person in the group who shared her not so secret likings at least no longer a secret to the tanned girl.

**_"Jade, there's nothing gory about Planet of the Rats"_** She wrote back.

**_"Keep watching Vega"_**

**_"I will West"_**

**_"You better"_**

Tori looked at the movie, nothing much had happened, at least not something out of what she already knew from the plot, some astronauts landed on a distant planet where there was a primitive civilization of giant rats and from the looks of it they weren't exactly_ kind_ to humans.

Before she could really questioned why Jade liked this movie so much aside from being disgusting a knock on the door was heard.

"It's open!" Tori yelled out not looking up from her cell but still somehow paying attention to the film, but had she taken the time to notice who exactly entered her house, then the mood would have changed drastically

**_"Why do u think rats were chosen for the movie?"_**

**_"Maybe as ironic twist?"_** Jade guessed **_"I mean humans experiment on rats in real life, in the movie the shoe's on the other foot"_**

**_"I guess that makes sense"_**

_**"Damn right it does"** _The Goth wrote back**_ "Now be quiet the best part's coming up"_**

**_"I'll be sure to cover my eyes then"_**

**_"You baby"_**

**_"Says the woman who was to afraid to hold a snake"_**

_**"NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN!"**_

Tori snickered _**"It's ok, you still are big bad Jade West to me"**_

_**"Don't patronize me Vega"**_

"Hello Tori"

The teenager's eyes widened, she knew that voice, anywhere Tori slowly moved eye eyes away from her phone to be greeted by the last person she wanted to see, _ever_.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Tori asked darkly.

"Is that any way to talk to your mom?" Holly said condescendingly.

"You're not my mom!" The girl snapped "My mom would have accepted me and loved me; _you_ are just the woman who gave birth to me, nothing more"

"Tori, I didn't come here to fight"

"I don't care what you're here to do!" She bellowed **_"GET OUT!"_**

"Baby hear me out"

"I heard enough when you kicked me out a few months ago" Tori hissed "And I have no intention to hear what you have to say _now_!"

"Ok I'll admit I didn't handle your sexual orientation very well"

"You _think_?" Tori said with a snarky tone that would make Jade proud.

"But in my defense I was not expecting it" Holly tried to say calmly but bits of irritation could be heard in her voice "It's not every day you hear your daughter telling you she's into girls"

"Well there isn't exactly a manual you can use to come out of the closet now is there?"

"No I suppose there isn't" Holly agreed "But we're getting off topic Tori, I want to apologize for that, you're my daughter and I should not have called you an accident"

"Well the damage is done" Tori pointed out "You can't just apologize and expect me to forgive you or forget what you did to me for that matter, it doesn't work like that"

"I know, I know and I don't expect you to do so but maybe we still can be a family again" Holly said hopefully "Tori you're my little girl, I remembered that when you had a problem you always came to me for guidance, when you wanted to ride a bike for the first time or when you wanted to talk to me about when something was bothering you, I was always there to listen, and well I miss that, you always trusted me with your little secrets"

"But apparently when I wanted to tell you about a **_part_** of myself you couldn't accept me for me now could you?"

"Ok your hurt, I understand but _please_ baby, I want us to be tight again, I miss you, don't you miss me?"

"A bit"

"So I ask you Tori, to give me the chance to make things right between us"

The younger Vega warily looked at her mother "I don't know"

"What do you have to lose baby?"

"I guess that's true"

"So what do you say?"

"Wouldn't hurt to try"

Holly widened her mouth, a smile slowly forming, she then opened her arms widely inviting her daughter for a hug, Tori reluctantly accepted it, as both Vega women were hugging the younger one of the two noticed someone was watching them from the other side of the door.

She slowly broke the hug with her mother when she noticed exactly who was watching them.

A priest

Tori looked at the man who only stared back with utter disdain; clearly this priest was one close minded individual who condemned those who didn't follow the bible to the letter.

The tanned girl looked at the tall man and then at her mother, one thought came to mind "You think he can pray the gay away"

"Tori just hear him out I'm sure he can make..."

"Get out"

"It's for your own good…"

"Get out!"

"You got to know this isn't right!"

**_"GET THE HELL OUT!"_** Tori bellowed angrily "Don't make me call the cops"

Her mother walked out the door "What happened to giving me a chance?"

"That was before I knew you had a reason for coming here" She replied darkly "Dont _ever_ talk to me again!"

"Baby.. I was only.."

"Trying to change me" Tori finished "Get out, I'm death serious about calling the police"

"Tori... _Please_"

"I hate to see dad having to arrest his ex-wife" The girl said ominously.

The threats was clear, Holly reluctantly admitted defeat and walked out.

As soon as the woman left, Tori slammed the door and began to cry, she wasn't about to give her mother the satisfaction of seeing how much this affected her.

Slowly she made her way to the couch where her forgotten phone laid, noticing she had several text messages from her girlfriend.

_**"Let me guess, you changed the channel"**_

_**"Tori?"**_

_**"Did the movie render you mute now?"**_

_**"Vega, this isnt funny, answer me now!"**_

Tori felt like she had been stabbed in the heart, after several more minutes she finally answered.

_**"Can you come over? I don't want to be alone"**_

_**"What happened?"**_

_**"My mom happened"**_

_**'I'll be there in ten minutes"**_

_**"Thank you"**_

That night despite being a minor, Tori started drinking.

Jade never forgave Holly for what she did to her girlfriend.

* * *

**_Here it is, the first part, this story won't be long, maybe around 7-8 chapters._**

**_Sad I know, this is why I'm atheist, religion can put families apart._**

**_Anyways, what do you think of it so far?_**

**_And five points to whoever catches the Invader Zim reference._**

**_Invader Johnny Signing Off._**


	2. Intervention

**_Disclaimer: Do we really need this? What? We do? Ok then, Victorious belongs to Dan, I own squat!_**

**_Author Notes: Here is part 2, be warned, wasted Tori ahead!_**

* * *

"I got to go" Jade told Robbie very quickly, putting things into her bag as she spoke.

"Why, what happened?" He asked "The movie was getting good"

"We can download it later!" The Goth snapped "Right now Tori needs me!"

"Is she ok?"

"Well, her mom showed up, **_what do you think?_**"

"Oh, uh _bad_?"

Jade glared at the boy "Considering I need to see my girlfriend right now I'll let your stupidity slide **_this time_**"

Robbie shut his mouth as he watched his scary friend slam the door.

His father walked in, having seen what happened and told his son with utter contempt "You're an **_embarrassment_** to the Shapiro name"

Robbie lowered his head in utter shame "I know"

* * *

Jade drove over to Tori's house as quickly as she possibly could, she ignored all traffic signs and kept going, she was_ sure_ she heard a few crashes as she made her way to her girlfriend's place, but she hardly cared.

The Goth pressed her knuckles on the steering wheel, not wanting to even _think_ the emotional despair Tori was feeling right now, once she made it to the Vega residence, Jade parked her car in the driveway and walked towards the front door.

Before she could even knock, the door hastily opened and Jade got the shock of her young life.

_"Oh god"_

Tori stood in the doorway and took a long drink of a bottle of vodka before moving aside, "How are you Jadey? The Latina greeted a bit buzzed "I was waiting for you"

A sudden realization that Tori was already drunk struck the Goth, Jade was amazed that her girlfriend got wasted so quickly, but removed that thought from her mind and decidedly grabbed the bottle from the Latina's left hand.

"Hey that's mine!" Tori said, in a half-slurred voice.

"Vega, what in the blue fuck where you thinking?!" Jade asked angrily "Do you realize how much trouble you'll be if you dad sees you been drinking!"

"Well my dad's not here now is he?" Tori hiccupped, staggering to the couch and plopping on it. In front of her, on the coffee table was a six pack that Tori has not even opened, but it worried the pale teen how much liquor Tori managed to acquire.

There was also a half-eaten sandwich and several photos of Holly Vega that Tori had been shredding for who knows how long.

"I hate you" Tori slurred to a photo of her mother "You hurt me"

Jade's eyes softened, while in pain, her girlfriend turned to a terrible mess.

"Gimme back my Tequila Jade!"

"It's Vodka, Vega!"

"Potatoe, potato!" Tori snapped "Now give it!"

_**"NO!"**_

"Why not?" Tori asked bitterly "I thought you loved me!"

"And I do!" She shrieked back "That's why I'm not letting you drink anymore poison for your liver!"

"I'm fine!" Tori snapped "Now let me have my Vodka!"

"Vega you are anything **_but_** fine!" Jade said back "For God's sake! Your eyes are fucking red, your breath _reeks_ of alcohol and I'm pretty sure you are going to have a big ass hangover when you wake up tomorrow!"

Tori, who was drunkenly swaying from side to side, got closer to her girlfriend, almost as if it was an attempt to look sexy and try to seduce her into giving her the alcohol.

"Make love to me"

**_"WHAT?!"_**

"Make love to me" Tori repeated.

"Tori you aren't thinking right"

"Oh I am" She said drunkenly as she got closer to the Goth "You never looked hotter"

"Vega I am not going to have sex with you!" Jade said "You are**_ not_** in your right mind, this is the alcohol talking!"

"Well Jade, the thing is I'm too fucking drunk to give a rat's ass." Tori said as she drunkenly poked her finger into Jade's chest.

"Tori, I didn't come here so you could lose your virginity while wasted!, I came here so you wouldn't be alone and I am going to take care of you!"

Tori drunkenly shook her head "You don't love me!"

Jade stepped forward. "You know very well I _**do**_ love you and that's the main reason why I'm not going to take you on this couch when you at your most vulnerable, I don't want you to feel terrible tomorrow morning and regret your actions, I want our first time to be special."

"I don't feel so good."

Jade closed the distance between them. "Then maybe you need to lie down."

Tori just stood there with an odd expression her face. "What I need is to go to the bathroom before I..."

Too late, she puked.

A few minutes later both teenagers were in the bathrooom, a trail of vomit was seen from the living room to the toilet, where Tori continued to release the contents of her stomach.

Jade was holding her girlfriend's hair the entire time.

When Tori felt she couldnt puke anymore she finally crawled away from the toilet.

The Goth looked at her with worried eyes "Tori"

"Yeah?"

"Promise me you wont drink again"

"What?"

"Promise me!"

"Ugh not so loud!"

**_"TORI!"_**

"You have my word Jade"

"Perfect" She said "Now let's get you off those dirty clothes"

"Ohh we're gonna have fun in the shower?"

_**"VEGA!"**_

"Not so loud!" She whined "My head hurts"

"Good, I hope you learned that alcohol is not the answer to your problems" Jade said with a rather serious tone "It never is"

The tanned girl swore she could see a look of disappointment in her lover's face.

Tori had to take a shower, more accurately Jade _had_ to give her a shower, she had to resist the urge to eye-fuck her girlfriend during this time, it was hardly appropriate or dignified, the goth was not happy about what had transpired, and in her mind she cursed Holly for turning her normally cheery girlfriend into **_this_**.

_"If I ever see you again Holly I'm going to stab you"_

After the shower, Jade took Tori in her arms, bridal style.

No words were said after that.

Jade never told Mr Vega what had happened that night, she wanted to, she really did.

But the last thing she wanted was to get Tori in trouble, she only told him that Holly had appeared and made Tori emotionally unstable for a few hours.

Mr Vega was livid to say the least and had put a restraining order against a his ex-wife.

Jade wished that would be enough to erase the painful events of that night and that things could move forward.

She hoped, she really hoped for Tori overcoming that night.

But she was wrong.

* * *

**_Chapter two was rather short, I suppose this story is a chalk singe to myself because I usually write big ass story, I want to see if I could write small things._**

**_As you all noticed, Jade has a dislike for booze, you'll find out why in a future chapter._**

**_I also want to make one thing clear, I'm NOT gay, I simply support gay rights and the purpose of the story is to point out just how terrible it is that religion can destroy families in some cases and even make the victim do self-destructing things in a moment of despair._**

**_Its sad that it can ruin the emotional life of some people when religion is suppose to do the opposite!_**

**_anyways what do you guys think?_**

**_Many of you are sure to hate Holly right now, no?_**

**_Invader Johnny Signing Off._**


	3. AA Meeting

**_Disclaimer: Do we really need this? What? We do? Ok then, Victorious belongs to Dan, I own squat!_**

**_Author Notes: Ok I'm sure many of you want to know why Jade hates alcohol so much and you will but I decided that the first few chapters it would be about Tori and her going down The rabbit hole so to speak._**

**_There is a time skip in this chapter, Tori is now out of high school, around 22 years old, eventually we will go back to the Hollywood Arts years so uh head it's a sad chapter be warned!_**

* * *

Tori was sitting in a chair along with several other people around her, she felt a bit out of place, she wanted to leave but couldn't do so for two very important reasons.

Number one; her misery needed to end, she wanted to show Jade she could hold onto her promise, if she did otherwise the goth would know and her last chance would go down the drain.

Number two; Trina was blocking her only escape route.

Her older sister watched her like a hawk, _"This is for your own good baby sis"_

_"How did things get so messed up?" _The Half-Latina thought miserably.

A man was standing in the middle of the circle of chairs "I see some familiar faces today" He said rather pleasantly, Tori didn't like that, he sounded like this was a simple meeting and it wasn't, not by a long shot.

"But I also see a bunch of new faces as well, so to the newcomers lets starts by resiting the twelve steps to help you being free from the pains of alcohol"

The members started to resite the twelve steps, a few with contempt in their eyes, almost as if they were feeling they **_shouldn't_** be here in the first place like it was some form of punishment, while other members simply spoke them with nothing but respect.

Tori spoke them slowly, her head lowered in shame.

_1\. We admitted we were powerless __over alcohol, that our lives had __become unmanageable._

_2\. Came to believe that a Power __greater than ourselves could restore __us to sanity._

_3\. Made a decision to turn our will __and our lives over to the care of God __as we understood Him._

_4\. Made a searching and fearless __moral inventory of ourselves._

_5\. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and __to another human being the exact __nature of our wrongs._

_6\. Were entirely ready to have God __remove all these defects of character._

_7\. Humbly asked Him to remove our __shortcomings._

_8\. Made a list of all persons we had __harmed, and became willing to make __amends to them all._

_9\. Made direct amends to such people __wherever possible, except when to do __so would injure them or others._

_10\. Continued to take personal __inventory and when we were wrong __promptly admitted it._

_11\. Sought through prayer and __meditation to improve our conscious_

_contact with God as we understood h__im, praying only for knowledge of his __will for us and the power to carry that __out._

_12\. Having had a spiritual awakening __as the result of these steps, we tried __to carry this message to alcoholics, __and to practice these principles in all __our affairs._

The irony of asking God for help was not lost to Tori.

Afterwards many of them exclaimed, "What an order!"

A woman stood up from her chair.

"Good evening, everyone. My name is Lisa and I'm a recovered alcoholic."

"Hi Lisa" The members said simoltaniously.

She began to tell us her experience with drinking how she lost her husband, her children not speaking to her and being friendless for the better part of her recovery.

Everyone had their chance to tell their experiences.

Some were quite sad stories while others led to self destruction, not once did anyone make a remark about what led them to their own downfall.

Now it was Tori's Turn.

The Half-Latina sighs dejectedly, there was no avoiding this, she looked into the eyes of Trina, who gave her a small encouraing smile.

"Hi I'm Tori and I'm a recovering alcoholic"

"Hi Tori"

"I been sober for the past... three days" She said slowly "And it hasnt been easy, I know it doesn't seem like much time to any of you and it probably isn't but to me it's been hell... Before any of this started I kept hearing how much people get their lives destroyed by constant drinking and I used to think oh that's never going to happen to me... Now I know it can happen to just anyone"

Many members mumbled in agreement.

"I started drinking when I was eighteen" Tori confessed "It wasnt _planned_, but I actually was in a lot of pain the night it all started, I just didnt know what to do, so I drowned my sorrows in vodka, I honestly didn't want to feel anything at that point in time, I wasn't sure just how to handle the situation, I mean my mother had trouble with my sexuality and tried to_ ¨fix me¨"_

The last part was said in disgust, something that was not lost to Trina, she couldn't blame her, both sisters had lost all the respect they once had for their mom.

A gay man next to Tori squeezed her shoulder to comfort her, knowing exactly what she was talking about, while a woman to her right squeezed her leg.

Other AA members gay and straight alike felt sympathy for the Latina, coming out was never an easy thing even today.

"Thank you" She said honestly "Anyways after I started drinking my girlfriend showed up and she was furious with me, in fact it was the first time I saw hatred directed at me... It scared me but I was too deep into my drink to give it a second thought and well, one thing led to another and after an argument I passed out, I don't recall much of what happened afterwards but I _**do**_ remember promising Jade that I would stop drinking for her"

Here she stopped for a few seconds to recolect her thoughts "But as you know I didn't exactly nailed it, the sole fact that I'm here with all of you is testament of that, I tried to stop and I'm... I'm _still_ trying to stay sober but that's easier said than done"

"Tell us more Tori" Lisa said soothingly "Get it all out"

The half-Latina held her hands together nervously, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes for a few seconds, just when it seemed she wasn't going to continue with her story, Tori opened her eyes and said bitterly "I continued drinking because of Holly... my _mother_, she just kept showing up, and I don't exactly mean _physically_, there was a restraining order on her after all but she fond a loophole and had people calling me, she sent bible thumpers to my dorm and it was too hard to handle a day where she didn't get into my life somehow, she never let me have a moment if peace, she never let be happy and I hated her for that, I know now she isn't going to change her mind, that's why I decided to cut her out of my life but that decision ended up hurting me more than I thought it would, I mean even if I haven't seen her in a long time she's still my mom after all"

Trina has tears in her eyes, hearing her sister's confesion was a first for her.

"That's when things got out of control" She admitted reluctantly "I kept drinking every other night, Jade was always on my case, I always thought of it as nothing more then meaningless words, that is until I... I... I... Did something I never thought I would."

"Tori we don't judge here" Lisa gave her a go on smile "Tell us what happened, its how the healing begins"

The tanned girl nodded reluctantly "I... _Hit_ Jade... It was the worst think I could have ever done, after that things were never the same, I screwed up big time and felt I destroyed a wonderful relationship, it was the stroke that broke the camel's back because next thing I knew Jade left, she left me and I felt betrayed for a very long time, but then when I remembered seeing the dissapointment in Jade's face and I couldn't help but think of all the times that I broke my promise... Of all the times that I let her down, it hurt it was unlike any other form of pain."

Tori puts her hand over her mouth, choking in sobs "Now she's not talking to me and I miss her, I miss her so much... I dont even know where she's living now and it hurts so damn much to know that I drove her away, she was the best thing that ever happen to me and I drove her away"

A few people gave her sympathetic stares while others simply muttered "Drama queen".

Nevertheless she continued with her story "I wanted things to go back to normal, to have her to hold me in her arms on a cold night, I want her to kiss me good night, bottom line I want her back in my life... After what happened I didn't think it was possible but then one night I received a letter, no address or even _who_ wrote it, but I just _knew_ who it was _from_ because on the piece of paper there were six words that said,_ life isn't the same without you"_

Trina nodded, after all she had delivered the letter on Jade's behalf much to the ignorance of her sister.

"That's why I'm here, she's giving me one last change and I'm not about to blow it, so I will continue coming to these meeting, if not for me then for Jade, because I love her more than anything and I want her back... I want to be happy again but most of all I want her to be proud of me, to show her she can trust me again...Thank you for listening"

a few member clapped.

Trina smiled as she clapped _"I'm proud of you baby sis"_

That night the older Vega went to tell Jade how things on the meeting had gone.

* * *

**_Chapter 3 was rather depression, more so than the previous ones, this serves as a call for everyone who has problems drinking if you have them or know anyone who is an alcoholic, don't just stand there, get help or get them help._**

**_after all, alcoholism can be beaten with help, that's what AA is there for!_**

**_On another note, yes Trina is a spy for Jade._**

**_next chapter: Flashbacks. _**

**_anyways what do you guys think?_**

**_Many of you are sure to REALLY hate Holly right now, no?_**

**_Invader Johnny Signing Off._**


	4. Revelation And Despair

**_Disclaimer: Do we really need this? Still? What? We do? Ok then, Victorious belongs to Dan, I own squat!_**

**_Author Notes: Ok I'm sure many of you want to know why Jade hates alcohol so much and you're in luck because you'll find out bellow... Be warned it's not pretty._**

**_There is still a time skip in this story, many of you weren't happy that I didn't "physically" put Jade in the last chapter, I did that so it would show how different Tori would be without Jade around, still I'm gonna make up for that and give you all some Jade moments... So... enjoy._**

* * *

Trina knocked on the door to Jade's apartment, like she promised she wouldn't be telling Tori where she was staying, it was the only way the Goth would heal from the emotional anguish.

A few seconds later, the door opened revealing a very sleepy looking woman.

"God Trina, do you know what time it is?"

"Its 9:30" Trina replied dryly "Where you sleeping?"

"I was"

"Ok... Why were you asleep so early?"

"I had several things to do today and I'm tired as hell, now stop playing twenty questions and tell me why **_are_** you here before I shut the door on your face!"

"I just wanted to let you know about Tori's progress" Trina started to say proudly "Nearly six months without a single drop of alcohol touching her lips"

"Oh whop-y-do!" Jade said sarcastically while moving her index finger in mock celebration.

"What? It's the truth!" Trina huffed indignantly.

"Oh Really?" Jade asked skeptically "And how pray tell do you know she _**hasn't**_ been drinking at night when your not awake or when your not at home?"

"Because I live with her, West!" The brunette said defensively.

"I hardly believe that is enough proof" Jade snarled "You aren't exactly the most observant person when it comes to your sister"

"Ok, believe me when I say that I check **_everywhere_** in the apartment whenever I get home to see if she is hiding any booze"

"Every day?

"Yes"

"How about when she's out?" Jade asked, still having trouble believing what she was hearing "You do know she _**can**_ buy beer and drink it on the street? **_Right_** Trina?!"

"She could" The older Vega admitted reluctantly "But she isn't"

"Oh? And What makes you so sure of that?"

"Because our dad is a _cop_" Trina pointed out rather smugly "He has a breathalyzer, if my sister's been drinking and if her breath smelled like alcohol, trust me _I_ would know"

"A little extreme don't you think?"

"It is, but to be fair it wasn't my idea"

"It wasn't?"

"Nope, it was Tori's"

Jade's eyes widened in surprise "Really?"

"Yeah, she wants to prove she's keeping her promise"

_"Took her long enough"_ Jade thought rather bitterly but kept it to herself, opting to say out loud with fake sincerity "Well thanks for the update I'll see you in a few days"

"Jade wait!" Trina yelled before the Goth managed to shut the door "Look I know you still have issues with what Tori did but don't you think it's time for you to see her?"

"Let me make one thing clear _**Trina**_," The Goth said with an ominous tone that sent chills down the older woman's spine "Your sister has broken the same fucking promise to me over and over for the past four years"

"I know but..."

"For fuck's sake she **_knew_** how my mother died!... She knew she was run over by a goddamned drunk driver!" Jade raged with such hatred in her green eyes "Then the bastard had the nerve to even run away from the scene, he left my mother's body behind, like it was nothing more than trash! It was fucking disgusting... but that did him no good, people saw him and the cops eventually arrested his sorry ass"

Trina's eyes widened "Jade... I'm... I'm so sorry I didn't know"

The pale woman narrowed her eyes "Don't you **_dare_** feel sorry for me... I hate it when people pity me for that, she and I may have never gotten along but she was my **_mother_** and she was taken from me because of some drunken asshole! I was so angry Trina... For a very long time I wanted to kill him, torture him, make him **_feel_** the same pain I felt for what he did to me... For what he did to my dad and my brother"

The older brunette wanted to give some sort of comfort to her sister's ex, and she did, thinking quickly, she grabbed Jade's left hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Jade's eyes met Trina's eyes, nothing was said, but there wasn't any needs for words, she could tell that the what the brown eyes were saying, the same damn eyes that she shared with Tori Held the same pity and compassion.

And she hated it.

Jade quickly took her hand away from Trina's, like it was on fire.

"You want to know what the cherry on the top of this messed up deal is?"

Trina nodded.

"That despite her **_knowing_** why I have such a strong hatred for booze she still kept abusing it like it was no big deal, every night before bed I could see her drinking a bottle of vodka like it didn't fucking matter, well guess what? It mattered to me and what does she do? Your sister had the audacity to ignored my worries and tell me to **_chill_**!"

Trina gasped, she obviously didn't know that.

_"Guess Tori has some skeletons in the closet"_

"God Trina for weeks I had **_nightmares_** of her **_dying_** in my arms with a bottle of booze in her hands! Like it was her lifeline or like her liver gave out or something I don't know!, but do you know what's that like?!" She asked rhetorically "Having to witness someone you love going through their own little slice of hell over and over again and the only thing you can do is hearing a denial every time and then seeing her going down that horrible path despite working diligently to prevent it so many times only to be met with no success and a feeling of despair!, _**HUH? DO YOU?!**_"

Trina opened and closed her mouth like a fish out of water, trying to come up with something, _anything_ to say that might be enough to change the Goth's mind but her mind was a blank, she was just too stunned.

"What? Nothing to say?" Jade sneered "Oh sure Tori's sorry **_now_** but guess what? Her apology is meaningless to me at the moment and to be fair... That's why I left... I left her because I refused to accept her apology one more time, knowing she would eventually lie to my face again or **_worse_** seeing her die at the hands of her alcoholism!"

Trina could see unshod tears in the goth's eyes _ "Oh no"_

"And I refuse to see her dead body!" Jade growled "So you'll have to excuse me if I don't think I can forgive Tori right now"

Once again the goth was about to close the door, already feeling weary from the emotional anguish her ex had given her this night.

"Jade, wait! Listen to me" Trina pleaded "I'm not saying that what Tori did was right and I get that your angry, I'm angry with her too, more then you know but you got to realize that she isn't the same person she was, after she stopped drinking she's changed and for the better, just ask anyone in and out of her AA group, they'll tell you I'm not lying, my baby sister is _almost_ like she was before she became al alcoholic!"

_"Almost?"_

Trina nodded "Yes, **_almost_** because you're the one thing missing in her life, she misses you Jade, so much... And she wants to see you, you are all she talks about and it kills me that I can't tell her where you live, so look next Tuesday is her six month celebration for being sober and it would mean so much to her if you would show up"

"I miss her too" Jade admitted "But how do I know she wont start drinking again if we get back together?"

"For the same reason as to why she hasn't missed one single AA meeting during this past semester, for the same reason she's been asking me for help for fear of a relapse and for the same reason she's been submitting to the breathalyzer... Because she loves you"

The younger woman watched her companion for any sign of a lie, Jade was skeptical to eveN trust the older Vega, after all she could be lying so she cold get back with Tori quicker but that thought went out the window when she saw the sincerity in those brown eyes, so she decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Jade sighed "I'll think about it"

Trina gave her a weak smile "That's all I ask"

Jade closed the door.

* * *

**_Chapter 4 was an explanation behind Jade's hatred for booze, I know I said I was going to show a few flashbacks but I decided to show this instead, it's depressing and it fits my mood as of late._**

**_I'm not going to elaborate here but I will say that family got hit rather hard with the loss of a beloved member so there's been a dark cloud going around for the past few days._**

**_next chapter: the Flashbacks... I promise._**

**_Invader Johnny Signing Off._**


	5. Looking Back

**_Like I promise here are a few flashbacks._**

* * *

Tori was was alone in her apartment, Trina had gone out to who knows where, normally she would worry her older sister would be stalking some poor guy but now she could care less, she knew she was being rather cold and she felt a bit guilty for being indifferent towards Trina's outside activities.

But her inner pain snuffed out the guilt, she hated being alone, ever since early childhood she hated when her parents often went out leaving her and Trina by themselves.

Then Trina often left to try and get some form of popularity.

Tori remembers how in early childhood she used to have imaginary friends, then she grew up and had real friend.

Tori smiled sadly.

She was often reminiscent of her time in Hollywood Arts when she was all he, after all there was not much to do when you sent away your friends after so much you told them to stop.

Tori was naive, she thought, Andre, Cat and Robbie would come back but eventually they stopped trying to make her stop drinking.

When Jade was the last one to leave, it hurt like hell.

"I miss you" She wept silently.

Tori lays on her bed, sadly looking at a photo of them, on their first date.

The Half-Latina often saw this picture of then holding hands and recall when and how she came to realise her feelings for Jade.

Back then it was a nightmare, today it was pretty funny.

* * *

"Jade you are by far the_** worst** _human being on the planet!"

"No Vega" The Goth said coyly "That honor is reserved for your sister"

"Why do you keep doing this?!" Tori yelled out "Do you want to give me a heart attack?! Is that it?!"

"Now that you mention it..."

"You are imposible!" The Latina snapped "I dont know why I keep trying to be your friend!"

"Not a day goes by I dont ask myself the same question"

"Ugh I'm out of here!"

With that Tori walked out of the classroom, she was not about to spend anymore time with the ganky Goth

"I swear as soon as I get home I will..."

"Oh Jade!" A voice not to far away said with a tone that made it soung a bit too sexual for Tori's liking "You are too mean to me!"

_"What the?"_

"Well thought luck Vega!" Another voice said evilly.

Tori walked into a nearby hallway, she didnt know what this was about but was going to find out.

When she made it to the lockers she saw two girls,they didnt look familiar but may e because they were wearing gruesome makes ups.

The first girl was a blond with a petite figure who was wearing something akin of Freddi Krugger while the other was a redhead which seemed to be a female version make up of Darth Maul. they seem to be in some sort of twisted roleplay.

"How many times do I have to tell you that we arent friends!" The blonde mocked.

"Why wont you accept my friendship?" The redhead asked in mock sweetness "You know you want to"

"The only thing I want is to bury you alive!"

"What if I bury you with me?"

Tori found this unsettling_ "Ok note to self no more figthing with Jade in public places"_

Both girls started to giggle uncontrollably.

"How long do you think they'll keep this up?" The redhead asked her friend.

"I dunno but I hope they give it up soon I mean come on this getting old!"

_"What's getting old?" _Tori wondered.

"You're right, anyone can see thone two are full of sexual tension!"

Brown eyes widened in shock_** "What?!"**_

"True, I'm surprised neither of them has made the first move"

_"No...Nononononononononono"_ She repated like a mantra I side her head _"They can't be saying what I think they are saying!"_

"You think they do this as show?" The blonde asked curiously "Both of them do too good of a job at it, it's too perfect to be fake"

"I know what you mean, it wouldn't surprise me if they secretly did stuff"

_"Those two girls don't know what they are talking about!" _The brunette thought indignantly.

"Maybe they do...I mean it would explain **_why_** the janitor's closet was marked as _their_ place"

Tori started to take shallow breaths _"This cant be right, are they really insinuating that **Jade and I** are... Are...together?... As **IN** together?!"_

"How much do you wanna bet that Jade wears the pants in the relationship?"

That's all Tori needed to hear, struck by a sense of utter horror, the tanned girl could only do one thing.

**_"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"_**

She ran out of the school, screaming all the way to her house.

* * *

Then Trina came into the equation, it was the first but not the last time Tori cursed and loved to have Trina as an older sister.

* * *

Trina walked into the house, she wanted to watch this new reality tv after such a stressfull day at school but was greeted by an unexpected sight.

"Tori?"

_**"WHAT?!"**_

"What is all this?" The older brunette asked seeing several magazines littered all over the living room, she silently grabbed a magazine from the couch.

"Don't touch it!" Tori yelled "It's mine!"

Trina ignored her little sister as she inspected the magazine, inside were many photos that no doubt were meant to do one thing and while she herself suddenly was feeling a bit _wet_ down there, she slightly doubted that it was having the same effect on Tori, after several minutes of silence she finally gazed at her.

"This is the first time I seen you finally getting interested in male pornography," She said slowly "I'm guessing you finally heard about the rumors revolving around you and that goth freak?"

**_"YOU KNEW ABOUT IT?!"_**

"Hard to ignore it when half the school talk about it 24/7" Trina answered "Gotta admit, I didn't think it would take you so long to find out"

"But...How... When...Who...Did..."

"Ok I'm gonna answer the obvious question here" Trina said "The rumor has been going around for the last three months"

**_"THREE MONTHS!" _**

"Calm down Tori!"

"Do not tell me to call down!" Tori snarled "How can anyone _think _that Jade and I can be a couple?! **_SHE HATES ME_**!"

"And yet your the person she spends most time with" Trina pointed out "And the fact that you never send her away kinda fuled the rumor"

"It was you!" Tori accused "You started the rumor! How could you do this to me Trina?!"

"Ok one, lower your voice, two. we go go to an Arts School so you have nothing to worry about homophobic idiots, three, and more importantly I didn't do it. Why would I want you to have attention when people should be taking about **_me_**?"

Tori had to agree that her sister's selfish diva attitude released her of any wrong doing.

"Then who started it?!"

"Wish I knew" Trina shrugged "I heard it from Lindsay who heard it from Robbie who _claims_ heard it from Cat, so basically it's a long list of people who heard it from a friend or acquaintance"

"This can't be happening!" Tori whined as she puts her face in her hands "Why didnt you tell me?"

"Honestly?" She asked calmly "I thought you and Jade were having a secret relationship and I hoped you would come clean about it"

The younger Vega got up from the sofa and gave her sister a glare that could melt metal "Listen to me Trina, Jade and I are **_NEVER_** going to happen, **_SHE_** hates me! _I_ don't even know if we're friends, and most importantly she's straight and so am I!"

"Denial is not your strong suit baby sis"

"I'm not denying anything!"

"Seriously Tori" Trina spoke smoothly "The way you two argue it makes it seem like you are already married"

_"Stop it! Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it!" _Tori yelled while putting her hands over her ears_** "I can't hear you, I can't hear you, I can't hear you, blablablabla!" **_

"Oh real mature"

"I'm being completely rational!"

"Sure, keep telling yourself that" Trina said "But you know what they say baby sis, opposites attract"

**_"For the last time!" _**The younger Vega bellowed "Jade and I will never be anything more than semi-friends!"

"Sorry, to tell you this, but most of the student body already think you and Jade are an item"

"Trina!" The Half-Latina said exasperatedly "I don't think you get this so let me be perfectly clear so you know just how serious I'm being, the moment Jade and I become a couple which I insist will **_never__ EVER_** happen I swear, I will eat my bra and panties in the middle of the cafeteria!"

with that she left to her room.

Trina took out her phone and speed dialed a number.

After three rings, someone answered.

"Hello? Cat? You were right, she is **_so_** in denial"

"Jade is too" The redhead replied on the other line, Trina was pretty sure she could hear Jade's cursing in the background.

Two months later Tori _did_ eat her bra and panties.

* * *

_"Things were so much simpler back then... Sniff... Sniff... Oh Jade... I miss you."_

_"So much"_

The poor brunette cried herself to sleep that night.

* * *

_**Well that's it for the chapter, next time I'll have some Jade flashbacks.**_

_**Just to let you all know I won't be updating this story until next year, I'm working on a Sam and Cat Christmas fic I'm hoping to post soon and that's taking a bit of my time, so keep your eyes out for that one.**_

_**Anyways, what did you guys think?**_

_**Invader Johnny Signing Off.**_


	6. A Letter to Alcohol

_**Sorry for the long wait, unfortunately I had a terrible case of writer's block for this story.**_

_**In here Tori needs to start healing and the first thing she does after some encouragement is to write a letter. To whom? Her biggest enemy and the source of her pain...Alcohol.**_

**_This takes a few weeks before Trina goes to talk to Jade._**

* * *

"Write it down Tori" Trina said while putting a piece of paper and pen in front of her sister "It will make you feel better"

"I dont think it will Trina" Tori muttered in defeat "Can't I just go back to bed?"

_**"NO!"**_ The older girl yelled "You are going to stop mopping and feeling sorry for yourself, this isn't you Tor... Where's my baby sister?"

"Gone"

"Well I miss you, the _**old**_ you, the one who smiled to everyone and cared about people...And I'm not the only one, Dad has been calling, he wants to know how you are"

Tori lowers her head in shame.

"He hates me"

"He doesn't hate you!" Trina said softly "He's _**worried**_ about you and he's not the only one, Andre, Cat, Robbie, he'll even that creepy puppet of his is asking for you!"

"Doesn't matter"

"Of course it matter! I want you to be back to normal but _I_ can't do that, _**you**_ have to... So please allow yourself to heal"

"What's the point?" Tori asked miserably "I already lost the one person that meant everything to me"

Trina frowned_ "Jade I hope you never get so see Tori this way"_

The younger woman rest her head in her arms on the table "She's never going to forgive me"

"That's bullshit!" Trina bellowed exasperatedly "If Jade wasn't going to forgive you then she wouldn't have sent you that letter! She wouldn't even give you the second chance to earn her love back!"

"I lost my chance with her"

"Are you even listening to me?!"

"I miss her"

The older Vega had had enough of the mopping, she was at her wits end and she knew that unless her little sister got out of this funk then she was going to lose her chance with Jade for sure.

Which is why she slapped her.

Trina didn't like that she had done so but she had to get Tori's attention somehow.

The tanned woman looked terrified at her older sibling, she touched the cheel where she had been slapped just seconds ago.

"Ok sister listen to me!" Trina barked "If you keep this up then every minute you mope it's a minute without Jade and I can see how much this hurts you but you got to remember that you hurt her first! She begged and begged for you to stop drinking! And did you listen?!"

"No" Tori replied meekly.

**_"DID... YOU...LISTEN?!"_**

**_"NO!"_**

"And was it worth it?" Trina asked "Was it worth numbing your pain with alcohol?"

"No"

"Our mother" The older brunette said with utter contempt "Is partly to blame for this Tori, she started this but the rest is up to you, this can end with you rising above it..."

The younger Vega's eyes began to water but refused to let her tears shed.

"Every second your away from Jade it's a second she wins" Trina Continued "So in the long run you can either get up , start healing and get your dark girl back or you can continue moping in your pyjamas and lose the woman you love to someone else.. Your call"

She left the apartment without another word.

Tori watched her go, finally drying her eyes once she was sure she was alone.

It was another hour before the Half-Latina decided to finally write on the piece of paper.

* * *

_My old friend Alcohol:_

_I suppose a greeting is order so um...Hi?_

_To be honest I never thought I would be in this situation, I screwed up big time with my girlfriend... If you notice I never wrote **ex**-girlfriend._

_Because I have a renew hope for her and I._

_Now I have a few things to say to you wether your real or not...I need to get this off my chest if I'm going to make things better... If I'm going to be happy._

_This is concerning you and me and our relationship. So here goes._

_I hate you... I hate what you made me do... Who I hurt and what I lost because for the longest time I was your slave... Your damn plaything, you seduced me and I let it happen because you blinded me from the pain my mother caused... It felt good but now I regret it more than ever...I regret a lot of things I did with you and my lowest point was being associated with you and that I never listen I never wised up to your evil manipulation sooner._

_The blame is not yours alone, because we **did** have some good times together to start with but you spoiled all that by wanting me to yourself._

_You took over my body and messed with my head so much, making me do and say things that I never would have done before._

_Several times I almost lost Jade to you, she put up with me for so long because she loved me and gave me so many second chances than I even hoped to deserve...I can't even count how many there were but in the end I lost her for good._

_I lost all of her... Her trust and faith in me, she won't even talk to me and it hurts... All because of our messed up relationship._

_You took all my money and almost took my life on more than one occasion. You are evil in every sense of the word._

_I can't even express how disgusted I am with you._

_But if I have to say anything **good** about you then this is it... You drove to a place where I come to know a great bunch of people... The right kind of people who know all about you and your manipulating ways and are there to help me get over you._

_My health and my mind are still in despair but with time they will heal._

_My sister is not giving up on me and I thank her for that._

_You taught me people are more important than you will ever be._

_So now, it is onwards with my life and I don't ever want to have anything to do with you ever again... You have no place in it._

_But if I'm lucky enough then Jade will._

_So, as they say, shut the door on ya way out, will ya?_

_Goodbye and good riddance,_

_Your friend no more_

_Tori Vega_

* * *

With that Tori put the pen down.

_"Trina was right"_ She thought _"I do feel a bit better"_

She got up and made her way to the kitchen, she was hungry and hadn't eaten all day so she made herself a sandwich.

As she ate in silence Tori began to think of what her sister had told her earlier.

_"Dad has been calling, he wants to know how you are"_

After a slow chew she swallowed her sandwich.

Tori then went to her room and grabbed her phone, scrolling down to the list of names till she found she one she needed.

She pressed it and waited for her call to be answered.

After the third ring someone on the other side of the line picked up.

_"Hello?"_

"Hi daddy"

The healing had begun.

* * *

_**Sorry, no Jade in this chapter but since the story revolves mostly around Tori and her misfortune with alcohol I felt I needed to add another way of support and healing than just simply writting about her AA meetings and family is usually that way.**_

_**To be honest I liked how I keep writting for Trina in this story..She seemed to be the push Tori needs when she's at her lowest.**_

_**Anyway, your thoughts?**_

_**Invader Johnny Signing Off.**_


	7. Home Sweet Home

_**Disclaimer: I own Victorious, and if you believed that then I can also sell you the Golden Gate Bridge for a dollar.**_

_**Author Notes: In here Jade is back, too bad Tori isn't home to see her.**_

_**Warning; up ahead gets a bit dark, I'm not exactly satisfied with it since I didn't feel like it was anticlimactic enough but it is a huge leap forward in the Jori arc, needless to say that after writing and re-writing this chapter I eventually got tired, it's like my brain decided to shut down on ideas.**_

_**Still, hopefully you guys will like it enough.**_

* * *

Jade walked up the stairs, she had made this journey countless times before but this one was the hardest one in her opinion.

_"You made it this far West!"_ She thought hardly to herself "_Don't you dare turn back now!"_

_"Tori's is celebrating her six month sobriety next week" _Trina said in the back of her mind _"It would mean so much to her if you would come"_

Jade would be lying if she was to deny the fact that she was _**very**_ tempted to see the half-Latina's progress for herself.

But her stubborness clouded her judgement and instead of going to Tori's AA meeting she had another destination in mind.

The pale woman made it to the second floor of the apartment complex, the same place she once shared a home with Tori.

"This is so surreal" she muttered to herself once she was in front of the door of her former house.

If anyone had ever told her that she would be estranged from the woman she loved she would have stabbed them with her scissors, yes she still loved Tori, it was hard to get over so many years of affection between the two but that didn't mean she was so willing to forgive and forget just yet.

Jade was going to see if her girlfriend was able to earn her forgiveness if not, then they were done for.

Yes, Jade West still considered Tori Vega her girl ,which is why she never attempted to move forward and get another relationship.

She still held some hope for their future.

And maybe today she could get some confirmation once and for all that the tanned beauty could earn back her love.

... And trust.

So without further waiting she got a copy of the set of keys for the apartment, she didn't know how much time she had before the Vega sisters returned but she was going to look, for what? She didn't know.

_"If Trina has been lying to me in your behalf Vega so help me..."_

Once she opened the door Jade forgot the rest of her train of thought and silently went inside.

"Home sweet home" She sneered.

Wordlessly she went to the bedroom that was once theirs.

"I see Vega hasn't had the heart to change much" Jade muttered, the Goth noticed that her girlfriend had gone as far as to get similar artefacts that were of Jade's liking, wether it was to serve as a reminder of her past mistakes, a drive for the future or a glimpse of their past, she didn't know and didn't care to be honest.

once she made it to her former bedroom she opened the door and went inside, to her distaste she noticed Tori had redecorated not that she had any room to complain since she had pretty much done the same when she moved out.

"Too much pink" She groaned "I think I'm about to go blind"

The Thespian started her seach, she needed any indication that Trina was either telling her the truth or that she has been lying to her that Tori really was six months alcohol free.

She search diligently all over the apartment for any beer, wine, pretty much any alcoholic beverage Tori could legally acquire.

And after several hours of searching Jade had to admit that the place was alcohol free.

"Trina has been telling me the truth after all"

Silently she grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and sat down on the couch "Now what?"

Jade was so certain she was gonna find something that would hint Tori was not free from her drinking but she was honestly relieved to know that she was wrong about that.

She took a big gulp from the bottle, looking in all directors of the place she used to call home "If these walls could talk"

The Goth closed her eyes, so many memories came to her at once, good and bad, she remembers the first time they made love in the couch, the first time Tori tried to cook only for Jade to have to call the fire department afterwards.

* * *

A smirk reached her lips "You were so embarrassed Vega."

_"Jade please don't ever tell my dad this!" Tori said within the confines of her mind._

_"Why Vega, are you asking me to lie to your father the cop?"_

_"It's not lying!" Tori protested "I just don't want him to know I almost burn the building down"_

_"Your secret's safe with me sweet Sally peaches" Jade said with her mocking voice._

_"I don't talk like that!"_

* * *

"I should have know these moments weren't meant to last" Jade said bitterly "Every time I'm happy something has to screw me over!"

The a Goth took a deep breath before taking another sip of water, she almost expected the walks to comfort her in some way even if she knew it was impossible.

"Big fucking hit in the face when this time it just _**had**_ to be Mrs Vega" She growled in disgust "The woman who supposedly loved her daughters above all else! Ugh, in all honesty if I expected _**anyone**_ to give me shit over my relationship with Tori then I would have thought my dad to be on top of the list, he never gave me any kind of support growing up so why the hell expect any different from him _right_?"

She took another sip of water.

"But imagine my surprise when he not only approved of Tori but gave me his blessing as well, guess he's not the cold hearted asshole I thought he was.. Which is more than I can say for Tori's mother...So Holly Vega wherever you are, fuck you! _**FUCK YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!"**_

With one final chug of the water bottle Jade got up from the couch and threw the plastic in the waste basket nearby.

As she was about to leave the apartment she noticed from the corner of her eye, from the bottom of the couch an object was sticking out, curiousity got the better of her, so she crouched to get a better view of the object.

"What's this?"

Jade removed whatever was beneath the couch, only to be met with a book.

"How long have you been here? She asked quietly, almost as if she expected an answer from the inanimate object.

Jade once again sat on the couch, inspecting the book and noticing how worn out it was, at first glance she suspected it could have been from a previous tenant but quickly dismissed that notion when she remembered the apartment being empty when both of them first went to check it out and eventually renting the place.

There really was nothing special about the book but something was calling to her to see the content of it, so without any reservations she opened it.

The first few pages were crude doodles of what she assumed were meant to be both her and Tori is romantic settings.

"Vega, you _really_ need to learn how to draw"

As she got further into the book Jade began to notice the drawings became less frequent to the point where they got replaced by her surname and a number.

_West 1_

_I contemplated suicide for the first time... I miss my Jade._

Jade was horrified when she read that.

_West 2_

_I couldn't sleep so I drank till I passed out... Truth be told I considered it an unnecessary evil... Jade's not here to give me love... So what else can I do?_

The Goth realized she was reading Tori's time away from her, when her drinking got worse.

_West 13_

_Friday the 13, Jade's favourite holiday... I got a black cat but she ran away from here... I drank a bit to lessen the pain of abandonment... It's only a matter of time till Trina leaves me._

_Trina doesn't know I cut myself._

_**"WHAT?! No no no no no!"**_

The further Jade read the more disturbed she got.

_West 56_

_My first meeting at AA, I think it went well... Not going to lie I hate the fact that I have to go but I want to get better._

_... I want to get closer to the day when Jade will hold me again._

_West 107_

_I want a drink so bad, today was meant to me our anniversary, we would have been together for three years... But then I remember that the evil drink is what keeping me away from my Jade so I stop myself._

_West 122_

_I hate sleeping... Jade is in my dreams... Every time she leaves me... Every time I die a little more._

_Maybe I will die for real one day._

_Of a broken heart._

_West 144_

_Sciccors... I'm not allowed to be near them._

_West 256_

_I'm making some progress I haven't taken a drink and I'm a bit proud of myself, Trina and my dad are too... Tomorrow I'll start my list._

"List? What list" Jade thought out loud.

she turned the page and true to Tori's written list there was a "To do list"

1) Make amends with the people I hurt.

_Jade West._

_Trina x_

_Dad. X_

_Andre x_

_Cat x_

_Sam x_

_Robbie x_

_Mr. West x_

Jade noticed that her name was the only one that wasn't crossed off, not surprising since she never told Tori where she was living and she was certain atrina never told her.

_2) Never take people for granted. X_

_3) Keep writting letters._

_4) Help other members at AA overcome their drinking habits X._

_5) Try to stop cutting._

Jade couldn't read any more, this nightmarish book was a clear view into the broken mind of the other woman, it was a side she never wanted to see in any aspect of her beloved brunette.

Several minutes passed as she sat in total silence.

_"Am I responsable for this?"_ Jade thought_ "By leaving did I hurt Tori more than her mother? No... She hurt me first._

_But by leaving I also hurt her back... Shit Shit **SHIT**!"_

The Thespian put her hands over her face "All this time I been thinking of how Tori hurt me I never put into consideration how me leaving was affecting her!"

For all she knew the tanned woman saw her departure as a form of abandonment, the same type Holly was responsible for.

She wasn't teaching Tori a lesson, she was creating yet another emotional hole for her girl!

"Damn it... I'm not better than Holly!" Jade snarled "Ok fuck that I'm **_AM_** better than her, I may be as guilty as that woman for hurting my Tori... But I am gonna fix my relationship with her...I can't stay afar any longer.

She looked down at the alcoholic diary.

"This just proved it."

Putting the diary back in the place where she found it, not wanting to leave anything behind that could show she was in the apartment Jade made sure to leave everything the way she found it, once she was sure she finished her task she left the place with a renewed sense of hope.

_"No more hiding"_

* * *

The next morning Trina was making coffee for both her and her sister, last night's events had gone smoothly, she didn't tell her sister that Jade could have gone to see her at the AA meeting, it could have given her false expectations, and the last thing Trina wanted was to see her sister's hopes getting crushed into several billion pieces.

So she kept quiet.

The older Vega made her way to the front door, it was a daily routine for her to go and get the mail before doing anything else.

But before she went to the lobby Trina saw an envelope taped to the door.

"What the?"

She removed it and went back in side.

_"For Tori"_

Trina noticed there was no address, no stamps, no nothing, she instantly knew who this was from.

"Jade... About damn time."

As Luck would have it, Tori entered the leaving room/kitchen at that very moment with a big yawn.

"Morning Treen"

"Huh? Oh yeah morning Tor"

"What you have there?"

"Letter From Jade"

"Oh" Tori said tiredly, it took her brain several seconds to process what her sister just said until her eyes widened and she yelled out a_** "WHAT?!"**_

"A letter from Jade" Trina repeated.

"And...? What does it say?" The younger woman asked.

"Dunno... It's for you...I...I haven't open it"

"Well open it! Open it!"

"You open it" Trina said "It's for you and I'm not sure I want to know what it says"

"I... Ok um give it here?"

Tori received the envelope from her sister and nervously opened it up.

_"Please be good news" _Tori mentally prayed.

_"We need to talk_

_ Be at Nozu at five_

_Dont be late Vega"_

Tori wasn't nervous anymore.

She was freaking out.

Then she fainted.

* * *

_**Had to give a cliff-hanger sooner or later, that's what a good writer does, no?**_

_**Someone made the good point that Jade was causing Tori more harm than good by leaving her rather than sticking through the situation and helping her get over her drinking habit, but at the time I believed that Jade was so tired of the constant run with alcohol and any person would leave but Tori was never abusive towards her, Jade just did not want to see Tori slowly kill herself, so she left.**_

_**Pin the end that coment gave me the perfect way to reunited the two girls in a sort of realistic way.**_

_**Now about Jade's time in the apartment, to be honest I was originally going to make our favourite Goth see a bunch of video diaries Tori made on her computer as a way to cope with her emotional pain but I eventually scrapped that idea when I began to write Tori's entries, I believe that it would seem way more disturbing for Jade to imagine Tori's grief stricken mind than to actually see it for herself, wouldn't you agree?**_

_**Curious fact: I was writting this while watching "Batman Beyond: Return Of The Joker"**_

_**Anyway, your thoughts?**_

_**Invader Johnny Signing Off.**_


	8. A New Dawn

_**Author Notes: This is the final chapter of the fic, sorry but I lost interest in this story and I been itching to write other ideas, however I had no intention to leave this incomplete so after a long writer's block this finale came up.**_

**_Disclaimer: I own squat, Dan owns the show._**

* * *

Tori sat nervously at the small stool, turning her head towards the door whenever she would hear people come in or out.

She was a nervous wreck, it had taken her older sister a lot of convincing that meeting Jade here was for the best, but the fear of seeing her (ex?)-girlfriend was huge, she didn't know what she would say.

Would she break her heart?

Would she take her back?

Would Jade decide she wasn't worth it and blow her off?

So many scenarios came to mind, each one getting worse by the second and Tori's insecurity was reaching its peak since there was no sign of the Goth, she _was_ supposed to be here almost twenty minutes ago…

Tori took the piece of paper out of her jacket and read the note yet again.

_"We need to talk_

_Be at Nozu at five_

_Don't be late Vega"_

The Half-Latina wasn't sure if Jade decided to let her wait on purpose as a form of twisted torture or if she simply had other things to do before coming to Nozu.

Whatever the case, Tori both anticipated and dreaded to be near Jade.

_Her_ Jade.

She sighed sadly, she wasn't sure if she could _even_ call the pale beauty her's anymore.

Just then she heard the seat next to her squeak, which meant that someone took the seat next to her, a seat she was saving for Jade.

She concluded that she must had been deep in thought to ignore the world around her.

"Umm, that seat is taken"

"Oh? By who?"

Tori froze right then and there, she _knew_ that voice anywhere.

"J-J-J-J"

The Thespian rolled her eyes "I think the name your looking for is _Jade_, Vega"

The tanned woman blushed "Ye-Yeah"

Jade looked at the coffee in Tori's hands, if there was any indication that she was nervous to see her, it showed when the poor cup was getting crushed.

"Vega, since when do you drink coffee?"

"Huh?" She asked, then looked at the beverage in her hands "Oh, um this isn't for me"

"Oh?"

"It's... It's for you"

Jade narrowed her eyes "Are you trying to bribe me?"

"What? _**NO**_!" Tori denied "I just thought you would like some...I mean, I used to give you A cup of coffee when we went out you know? It your favourite; black with two sugars"

Jade stared at the drink.

"I-That was awhile ago, though, wasn't it?" Tori said quickly. "You-You've probably found a different type of coffe you like"

"No," Jade replied softly, picking up the cup and taking a sip. "This is still my favorite…thanks."

"You're welcome baby"

After that the two women were silent.

Tori mentally kicked herself, unsure if she went too far for calling the other woman by that particular petname.

Jade simply closed her eyes for a minute or two, unsure of how to respond, while she missed Tori's affection, it wasn't the time or place or it, she came to settle things once and for all, both of them had to get passed by the trauma Holly had started.

To say things became awkward very quick was an understatement, Tori had wanted this chance to talk to Jade so desperately, to fix the mess she started but now that they were both here, she didn't exactly know how to.

_"Why is it so hard to start up a conversation with someone who I loved more than life itself?"_

"How's staying with Trina?" Jade asked, sipping her coffee. "Has she driven you crazy yet?"

"It's-It's okay," Tori answered. "It's not so bad, she at least isn't as self-centered as she was in high school"

Jade snorted "That's hard to believe"

"Well believe it" The Half-Latina said "Heck, if I wasn't living with her I wouldn't believe it myself... But you didn't tell me to talk about my sister did you?"

"Nope"

"So um... Why did you wanna see me?"

"First of all _**Vega**_," Jade said coldly "You got to understand that you hurt me ok? That slap hit deeper then you think, you didn't just drive me away, you broke whatever trust I had in you... So many empty promises that you would stop drinking finally took its toll and I didn't want to see you getting deeper into that goddamn rabbit hole"

* * *

_"Tori stop drinking that shit!" Jade yelled out "You promised you would stop!"_

_"I will!" She groaned "Don't get your panties in a bunch!"_

_"My... That's it!" Jade snarled "Give that to me!"_

_The Half-Latina got the Vodka closer to her bossum "No!"_

_"Vega" She said warningly "Gimme that now!"_

_Tori simply ignored her and out the bottle between her breasts "Want it? Come and get it" She slurred._

_"I'm not kidding... Give that **NOW**!"_

_"Nope"_

_Jade quickly made it to her girlfriend and without a hitch managed to take the bottle away from her, however Tori was not amused._

_"Hey! That's mine!"_

_"_**This**_ is going down the drain!" Jade pointed at the bottle in disgust._

_"No it's not!" Tori protested "Gimme!"_

_"Didn't you _**_promise_**_ me you were going to stop drinking!"_

_"One more drink is not gonna hurt!"_

_"Open your eyes Tori!" Her girlfriend bellowed "It's already hurting you!.. It's hurting _**_us_**_!"_

_The younger woman however didn't seem think so and in her desperation to get her drink back she slapped Jade right in the face._

_The Goth's eyes widened in shock, Tori soon followed._

_"Jade... I...I.."_

_But the pale woman didn't stay to listen._

_"I can't do this anymore"_

_She drop the bottle and it broke into millions of pieces, _

_Right then and there, Tori just knew that she went too far._

* * *

Tori lowered herself in shame as she recalled her actions of that dreadful evening "I'm sorry"

"Yeah... I figure you are _**now**_" Jade snapped "I'm not here to chew you out, there's no purpose to do that, the damage is done but what I want to know is why you continued to drink when you _**knew**_ it was Wrong, _**why**_ after so much asking, so much _**begging**_, on my part you never listened until it was too late? Was drinking really worth it? Did you really prefer it to _me_?"

"No!" Tori said at once. "No, of course not."

"Well I see no other explanation" Jade hissed "I want an honest answer from you Vega... Why... didn't ...you ..._**stop**_?"

Tori's eyes began tear up, but she refused to cry, not now but the fact that Jade was calling her by her surname and not her name showed that their relationship had taken several steps back and it was killing her.

"I-I don't know," Tori said.

"Well then who _**does**_ know?!" Jade snarled "I want an answer Vega and I want it now!"

"I took our relationship for granted, _**okay**_?" The Tanned woman snapped "There, I said it... I deluded myself into thinking that you were always going to stay with me because you loved me too damn much... That you weren't going to get sick of me... That you were going to let things slide... So I keep drinking and drinking not only to get rid of the pain my mother left behind but to escape from the reality that our relationship was in trouble... I didn't want to face the fact that I had a problem, I just expect us to stay strong but that's impossible when you were the only one pay any attention to _us_"

Jade said nothing. It was as if Tori had said everything The Goth had wanted to say to her herself. She looked across at the other brunette, whose eyes were brimmed with tears.

_"She still cries way too easily"_, Jade thought to herself. "_But…Ugh, she __**really **__is sorry…But then again how do I know this isn't another empty apology?"_

"I'm not sure if you believe me and if I killed any hope of us getting back together" Tori admitted as she shed away some tears "And I _**know**_ I don't deserve another chance after I blew so many... But Jade... I...I don't think I could bear the the thought of you being out of my life.. These past months without you have bee very painful days ... I been going to some AA meeting and Trina has been helping me out in case I relapse, I won't lie and say that I don't get the urge to drink every now and then because I do, I freaking do! But... but I _**resist**_ because I want _**us**_ to work out... My damn drinking problem drove away the woman I love and I have no one to blsme but myself, if I learn anything from this fiasco is that I can't take for granted what really is important to me and Jade?... I learned that the _**hard**_ way... What we had? It was so perfect... So beautiful... And I want that back... So I ask you to _**please**_ give me the opportunity to fix what I broke"

"What makes this time so different Tori?" The pale woman asked "Why should I believe you after so many empty promises? What makes this _**real**_?"

Tori closed her eyes "Because I love you"

"Okay," Jade said. "I-I guess that's that."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Jade said, taking a deep breath. "You can't apologize anymore, can you?"

"What are you saying?" Tori asked slowly.

"Vega, believe it or not I know when your lying to me" The Thespian said "And you aren't lying _**now**_, we both made mistakes"

Tori raised an eyebrow, puzzled "What did you do?"

Jade lowered her head this time "I left you"

"But... But you had a reason to"

"That didn't make it right!" She hissed "You were hurting and I left you when you needed support, I'm no better than your mother... I hurt you by leaving, I was in so much pain that I forgot you were drinking because of what your Mom did to you and instead of being with you to release you of that despair I made things worse by leaving you behind and for that I'm sorry"

"So we both did things we regret" Tori muttered.

"Looks like it"

"So... Where do we go from here?"

"I think... I think we need to start from scratch"

"What do you mean?"

"Vega, my trust in you is broken, our relationship is in shambles, to be honest I still love you but we can't move on if we don't deal with the broken pieces"

"So... What do you suggest?" Tori asked fearfully.

"Like I said, we start from scratch, let's begin anew, let's do this right this time, go slow"

"Go slow?"

Jade nodded "Let's be friends first, from there if things feel _right_ again then we can start dating, I want us to work out but for that to happen I gotta know I'm not the only one willing to go the distance"

The Half-Latina smiled sadly, she saw validity in what Jade was saying and although she didn't like the idea of simply being friends she still had hoped for them so if she played her cards right someday she would call Jade her girlfriend once more.

"I'd like that. A lot."

"Ok Vega" She said "I gotta warn you that it won't be easy"

"I know Jade" She admitted "But hardly anything worth having ever is"

Tori desperatedly wanted to hold Jade's hand but knew it was off limits, they weren't dating now, simply friends but someday she would hold that soft hand again.

And when she did, she would never let it go.

_"And this time it's a promise"_

* * *

_**Well, this is the end, I left it as an open ending because I might do a one shot sequel on this, for now I have no plans but one never knows.**_

_**anyways, comments? Disappointed? Did you like it?**_

_**Review and let me know, ok?**_

_**Invader Johnny Signing Off.**_


	9. A Sister's Loyalty

_**Author Notes: This is a continuation of chapter six after Trina left the apartment she shared with Tori.**_

**_Disclaimer: I own squat, Dan owns the show._**

* * *

_"I wanna go home and die"_

It had been an _**extremely**_ long agonising day at college for Trina, the diva attitude within her made her comeback by making _think_ that today was dragging on forever and that it just didn't want to end.

Not only that, she was dead tired and stressed out as a result of not only her sister's ongoing misery but add the preparation for her exams to the equation and you get one short tempered walking time bomb that would go off at the next person who pissed her off.

Needless to say, she desired nothing more than to calm her nerves; the last thing she wanted was to accidentally take her anger off on her little sister, so decided to hit the local jet brew for a latte on the way home.

Entering the hip coffee establishment Trina was welcomed by the familiar aroma of exotic coffee and the sounds of a soft jazz beat.

The place was crowed with various students and business types sitting at the various tables, but the young woman paid them no mind a she walked to the counter to make her order.

But alas, it seemed like _someone_ was trying to test her patience since she had to repeat her order at least five times so the stupid pimply faced teenage boy would get it right.

_"I dunno why I try, they always get it wrong one way or another."_ Thought Trina, as she stepped aside to wait for her latte.

It was then out of the corner of her eye that the brunette spotted something or rather _someone_ that made her blood turn cold.

It was her mother, sitting in the corner, quietly drinking coffee and reading a ittle black book.

"Aw crap!" Cursed the elder Vega silently as she quickly turned her back to her now hated mother.

"Maybe she _didn't_ see me." Thought Trina somewhat hopefully. "All I need to do is grab my latte and get the hell out, if luck is on my side things won't need to get messy"

Trina knew that sooner or later she'd would have contact with her mother, it was unavoidable to say the least, and while she was cursing her bad luck at the same time she was grateful that it had been _**her**_ who coincidentally was in the same place as the older woman, if Tori was in her place... Well she didn't want to even think of the pain her religious mother would cause her already fragile younger sister.

Ultimately Trina prepared for such an event to a degree _when_ it happened, but it had been a long day and she simply wasn't in the mood to deal with a discussion at the moment.

She just wanted to leave.

The place was busy so there was at least two other people waiting for their orders and all Trina could do was hope they hurried up.

She nervously waited, hoping that her mother wouldn't spot her, but the minutes seemed to turn into hours as the other two got their coffees.

Then it happened.

_**"LATTE FOR VOGA!"**_ Shouted a looking gap toothed teenage girl, with stringy blonde hair, from behind the counter.

Already on edge, having her name mispronounced set Trina off. She quickly snatched the coffee away from the teen, "It's pronounced Vega you nit wit. And try using some conditioner; you look like a fucking redneck."

It was then Trina realized she had spoken just a bit _**too loudly.**_

_**"Trina!"**_

Much to her chagrin, her mother spotted her, she closed her eyes in annoyance for a moment and cursed under her breath. "Double crap!"

For a moment she looked at the door, thinking of a way to escape the conversation that was going to happen, but instead decided to confront the beast head on.

So with a rather dour expression on her face, Trina walked over to her mother's table.

What annoyed the brunette most about it was her mother's happy/innocent expression, as she was unaware of the elephant in the room.

_"The elephant she brought on us all"_

Arriving at her mother's table, Holly Vega motioned to the empty chair opposite her but Trina instead stood defiantly next to the table.

"Mother." She greeted coldly.

A frown appeared on Holly's face for a fraction of a second but composed herself almost instantly, smiling sligthly as she tried to make nice of the situation. "Trina please sit, it's been a while, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine, thank you."

"How's your father?"

"He's fine."

"So Trina are you in school, are you working?"'

Trina actually laughed and then sat down.

"You are so funny. You ask me how _I'm_ doing, then you ask how _dad_ is doing, yet you seem to forget about someone, but who?" Trina said as she pretended to think "Ah now I remember, her name is Tori! _My sister_! You know, about 5 foot five, brown hair, loves to sing. Ring a bell?" Trina said with a drink of her coffee, her words dripping with heavy sarcasm.

Only then did the pleasant smile on her mother's face seemed to vanish.

"I know who my daughters are and you better watch your tone young lady" Snapped Holly.

"Or what? Are you going to do hit me with that bible you're reading?" She sneered hotly "Besides, I thought you only had _**one**_ daughter, so all of a sudden Tori's your child again? How perfectly _convenient_ must it be for you to have a child that you can disown and then accept them as yours again at your whim."

Trina was hoping to strike a nerve in her mother and the fact that Holly promptly fumed in anger and pounded a fist on the table, indicates she had indeed it the mark.

"She always was much child and always will be, but to my enteral shame, she turned her back on God and all that is moral and decent in society by lying with that dirty whore."

Trina then reached across the table and tightly gripped her mother's wrist. "Her name is Jade" She hissed "And despite the fact she's not my favorite person in the world, if I hear you call her a dirty whore again, I'll cram that bible straight up your ass!"

Only then did Trina let go of her shocked mother's wrist. "How dare you treat me like that! Honor thy father and mother, one of the 10 commandments, which is **_GOD'S LAW!'_**

Trina quickly scoffed. "Honor's a two way street."

"It's god's law Trina, Leviticus 18:22 " Thou shall not lie with mankind, as with womankind; it is abomination and despite my best guidance and church my daughter Tori choses to violate that law."

It was then Trina was glad she had done some research in preparation of this day.

She calmly took a drink of her latte and chuckled. "You seriously threw Leviticus at me. Tell me mother, do you still eat at that lobster place over on Grant?"

"Of course I do, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Let's see….oh yeah. Leviticus 11:12 which states quite clearly that anything in the ocean that does not have fins is to be regarded as unclean and not eaten. That includes, shrimp and lobster which I know for a fact _**you love.**_ I've seen you eat a dozen shrimp at a time. Another thing, you're wearing a blouse that appears to be made out of Cotton and polyester. Guess what, Leviticus 19:19 which states very clearly that you are not to wear any garment on you of any two kinds of materials mixed together. It's amazing you shout one Leviticus verse as God's law, while _conveniently_ ignoring those other two other laws. Just all the other hypocrites, you pick and choose bible verses to suite your purpose.

"I am one of the righteous, like Lot I turn away from the wicked city as it's destroyed."

Trina then started to laugh almost hysterically. "You do realize that after the Lot ran away from the wicked city and his wife was turned to a pillar of salt, he committed **_incest_** with both of his daughters and impregnated them both. If someone did that now, they'd be locked up for 50 years and rightly so."

"It's still a sin. Jesus condemns it."

"Oh really? _Where_?, because unless your bible is somehow different than mine, he don't say squat about that."

So for the next 10 minutes, Holly Vega rather frustratingly threw bible verse after bible verse at her first born child, only to have her throw others back or explain how they were being misinterpreted.

"How do you know so much?" Holly finally asked.

"I read up on all this because I wanted you to know there's nothing wrong with Tori. It's you there's something wrong with you and the others like you, hate the Gays, hate the Liberals, hate the Muslims, hate the Pagans, hate this, hate that. You've got it all backwards and distorted. Maybe if you actually read the book, you'd realize the message of Jesus is one of love and forgiveness."

"Tori needs to see the light!"

Trina got up sadly shook her head in disgust. "Mother, I'm tired and I want to go home. Even if I wasn't, arguing with you is pointless. I hope someday, you see your views are wrong, but by that time it probably will be too late, I tried to make you act like a mother and get over your negative view on homosexuality so you and Tori could reconcile and get some help but if you can't then don't come near her, don't come near me, I don't want my baby sister to get hurt again by you. You may have not turned your back on God, but you have turned it on everyone you're supposed to care about. Goodbye Holly."

Not waiting for her mother's response, Trina turned and walked away.

* * *

**_I Know that I said in the previous chapter was going to be the last one but Quitting Time gave me an intriguing idea and it was just too good to pass.  
_**

**_Speaking of Quitting Time, I want to thank my fellow Jori writer for helping me with this chapter, religion is not exactly my cup of tea so I needed assistance in the conversation between mother and daughter._**

**_Finally, the following chapter will be the final one, for sure this time, ok?_**

_**Invader Johnny Signing Off.**_


	10. Defeating Demons

_**Author Notes: The final chapter and this time it's for sure!**_

_**Thanks for Quitting Time for All the help.**_

* * *

Trina had a long, aggravating day, so all she wanted to do at this point was to sit down on the couch and relax... possibly getting a nap but it seemed like she wasn´t about to get her wish since as soon as she sat down, her phone rang.

_... Again._

Much to her disgust, it was none other than her _mother_ with yet another attempt to save their souls from eternal damnation.

It sure seemed as if the encounter at the coffee shop a few days ago wasn't enough to get through her thick head that her help was not needed or**_ wanted._** Unlike the previous time, Trina didn't bother to engage in a biblical war of words, she simply did not pick up.

"Who was that?" A voice asked curiously.

Trina froze... _"Damn it"_

She wasn't about to tell her sister who really was on the other side of the line, It wasn't what she wanted and knew it would only upset Tori, so instead Trina lied through gritted teeth.

"That jackass Paul" Trina answered evenly "Still trying to get me to go out with him no matter how many times I tell him I have a boyfriend"

Tori paused in the doorway and closed the door, looking both tired and irritated. "What does Gibby have to say about thAT?""

"Nothing"

"Really?" Tori frowned "That doesn't sound like him"

"He hasn't said anything because he doesn't _know_ what's going on... I don't want him to fight my battles, he's my boyfriend and I love him but that doesn't mean I wan't him to get into something that can lead to some serious problems, he can kick ass but even Gibby can't escape the legal side of things but I swear that if Paul hits on me one more time, I'm going to groovy him, right in the nuts."

Unbeknown to Trina the mention of her chubby boyfriend only served to remind Tori of what she was missing or more accuratedly _who._

"Between that clown and the five year old that demolished the display I had just set up, my day was just peachy." Trina finished her rant, oblivious of what she unintentionally started.

Finally throwing her bag to the floor, Trina started to relax only to notice that Tori walked in the room and leaned against the table and closed her eyes. Watching her carefully, Trina could see her sister was slowly counting down from ten.

While Tori was mostly back to the person she once was, the stress of her constant alcohol cravings left her with only limited patience. What she was doing now as something she did when she needed to calm down and fight off her urge to drink.

Naturally the more stressed there was, the greater the urge to drink got, which only lead to more stress.

It was a very nasty cycle and one, Trina knew, Tori had to deal with constantly.

"It's ok, Tori. You did fine, you're doing fine, you're beating this."

_**"Beating this?**_" Tori snapped.

"Beating this!"

"You honestly think, I'll_** ever** _beat this Trina?!" The younger woman asked darkly "This is not a war, there will be no final battle, there will never**_ be_** peace treaty, the war will go on and on and on; my endless fight with the urge to drink, which will only die when **_I_ **do."

"I didn't mean it that way, I meant you'll beat that urge, be able to control it. Others have and I don't have any doubts that you will too." Her sister replied back honestly "You'll put your life on track and get Jade back."

It was then Tori, sighed walked over to the couch and just collapsed on it. "Jade! Two addictions, but like the good slave, I can only serve one master. You honestly think she's going to put up with me."

"But you did well when you met at Nozu, last week. You said you were going to set off slow, rebuild things. What's wrong?"

"_**Nothing's**_ wrong, **_Everything_** is wrong. I even called her up yesterday and asked her if she wanted to go see a movie.. They've got Strangers on a train, playing down at the Bijou. "

That was good or at least Trina thought so. "That's good. You're making an effort. What did she say?"

"Yes." Replied, Tori looking very much like it was not the answer she wanted.

"Ok, I'm confused. This is what you wanted, but right about now, you look like you're going to come apart at the seams. What's wrong?"

"It's tonight. We're just seeing a film, that's it, but right after I hung up, I started to freak out and I have been ever since."

"But why?" Trina asked unsure if she wanted to know the answer " I mean do you think it won't work out?"

"No, I'm afraid it _**will**_, what if I hurt her again. Will she ever truly trust me or will she keep this thing hanging over my head. Always searching to see if I have booze hidden away; just _waiting_ for the chance to say, _I told you so_. "

Tears suddenly burst from Tori's eye, as if a dam had failed. "She'll…never love me the same way again. I ruined everything."

Not wanting to see her sister in yet another meltdoen, Trina pulled Tori into her arms, where she let her cry it out.

The younger Vega cried for almost half an hour before she just slumped in Trina's arms, both physically and mentally exhausted. Carefully, the older brunette helped her sister up and put her into bed, where she fell asleep almost immediately.

Returning to the living room, she picked up the phone, she went through the list of numbers until the one she seeked appeared.

_Ring... Ring.. Ring... Ring.._

"You're not the Vega, I was hoping to hear from"

"Well I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I kind of need to talk to you for a moment."

Now Jade's voice turned darkly cynical. "Tori can't make it, isn't it."

"Yes, but…"

"I knew it. How drunk is she?" Retorted Jade, her voice going from cynical to downright derisive.

Between dealing with her mother _and_ Tori's subsequent meltdown, Trina herself had been pushed to the limit, the Goth's remark was the last straw.

"She's not drunk you Bitch!, she hasn't had a drink. I've had more than enough today, first I have to deal with my piece of shit of a mother, whom I just keep running into!, then I had to witness Tori who's beyond nervous, scared and worried that she'll let you down, comes unglued. Then you, you damn rotten troll, just **_have_** to instantly jump to conclusions and assume she fell off the wagon."

Jade wanted to retort back but she didn´t get the chance since Trina continued ranting vehemently "The fact that she let you down is eating her alive, she tries so hard for you and all you want to do is pass judgment. Maybe Tori was right, maybe you're just looking for an excuse to say I told you so. You want her to fail, so you can wave your dead mother in her face so you can feel morally superior and pass judgment...well if that's how you are then you're no better than my mother…..so **_FUCK YOU!_**"

Furious, Trina hung up the phone and managing to resist the urge to throw it against the wall, turned if off. Not wanting deal with the raven haired Troll, she pulled the phone out of Tori's bag just as it started to ring. It was Jade of course.

Scowling, Trina turned the phone off.

Tori had messed up for sure, that was something Trina was well aware of. At the same time however, she could find plenty of faults in how Jade handled things. Jumping to conclusions, for Trina was the last straw. She was glad she said what she said, however she felt just a bit sick that she may have just torpedoed, Tori's chance at getting Jade back.

Upon reflection, Trina somberly noted as she could hear the rumble of an approaching thunderstorm.

"Maybe that's a good thing."

* * *

**_Jade's POV._**

I screamed in rage, the moment Trina hung up on me. What else was I supposed to do, bake cookies.? I fucking hate cookies.

Next I tried to call back and the wench turned off her phone, I then tried to call Tori and that went to voice mail. I had been shut out.  
Initially, there was no thought or reason to my anger. it was just anger.

But as I ranted and threw things about my apartment, I happened to catch a glimpse of the one photograph I have of my mother. It's a small picture on the wall of her at some dinner party.

I don't know why, but looking at that picture, I suddenly had this moment of clarity. I hated alcoholics. After all the person who killed her was a alcoholic and had been twice before busted for DUI. But up to that point, I never really thought about just how much I **_hated_** them. The depth of my hatred and contempt ran deep, a lot deeper than I originally thought. I thought they were weak, disgusting, people who had something horribly wrong with them. They were just plain defective. I barely viewed them as people at all.

I could control my drinking. I knew when to stop and I always did. Those who couldn't, were weak,**_ disgusting_** people who had something horribly wrong with them. They were just plain defective. I barely viewed them as people at all.

I remember taking a dance class once, before I came to Hollywood Arts. It was held in a local community center and always at the same time as my class was an AA meeting which was held in a different room. I'd watch them standing around outside on their break smoking, drinking coffee. Other times if I arrived late, I could hear them give that god grant me bullshit. A bunch of weak, loser fools.

I hated them and made no bones about it. Whenever one of those losers came anywhere near me, I would instantly bellow. "Get away from me!" Other times I would look down at them, knowing I was the better person. The humility, the shame in their faces, I ate it up.

I even thought of spiking their coffee with booze just to fuck them up good. But I couldn't get a hold of any, nor figure out how to do it without being caught. Regardless, I wanted them to fail.

One time, an older man who was with the group asked me, "What do you have against us?"

I screamed, "One of you worthless bastards killed my mother. I wish you would all fucking die! No one needs you."

They avoided me like the plague after that.

After the first session of the class ended, I didn't sign up for it again, as I just couldn't stand to be around them.

Trina just how had accused of being like Tori's mother, essentially saying how I wanted Tori to fail and how I wanted to feel morally superior. I told Tori in our meeting that I was no better than her mother for leaving and at the time it was more a figure of speech than anything.

But now as I standing the living room, my eyes fixed at the smiling face of my own mother did I suddenly realize that to some degree that, _"Trina was right"._

I hated alcoholics, no…I right down despised them. I was living with and dating one and thinking back, I did wave my dead mother in her face more times than I can count. I also stood on my high horse and like the others I put her down.

* * *

_"Tori, if you don't stop drinking, you'll wind up killing someone, just like someone killed my mother."_

_"You know Tori, when you hide the liquor bottles in the apartment, you don't even do a very good job at doing it. I find little bottles stuffed under couch couching, behind the cleaning supplies, stuffed in your sock drawer. I'm not sure what's more pathetic, the fact you need to hide the things all around or the fact that you're booze soaked mind can't even find a decent place to hid them."_

* * *

I never hit her but near the end, some of my comments became downright cruel. My hatred of alcoholics in general had poisoned me to Tori's struggle. I began to resent her. I wanted to _feel_ superior to her tto the point that I wanted to be **_right_**.

Now I'm not absolving Tori of the blame, but thinking about it, I made things worse, made her feel worse, so I could feel better. Just a short while ago, I instantly concluded that she fell off the wagon. I wanted to be right, that she was just an alcoholic loser. I couldn't accept that she was anything else. Just like Tori's mother couldn't accept she was gay.

The realization that in some ways I was no better than her mother. **_That_** hit me hard, so hard I fell to my knees. I had done more than simply leave.

She was an alcoholic and I hated her for it. I also felt that I was better than her. She had caused me pain and instead of trying my best to help her, help the situation, I just pushed it right back on her face.

And to add insult to injury I simply left when she was at her most vulnerable state.

Now I feel like utter shit, looks like I still have amends to make now that my sins were painfully clear. I could have stayed there and cried, but I knew I needed to do _something_. I needed to at least admit to what I've done. Tell Tori that I did more than just leave….well actually I left her emotionally long before I moved out. I need to tell her that.

She was probably so nervous about how I'd act or what I would think wonder she melted down.

I quickly picked myself up off the floor and headed straight out to Tori's place. I was upset and still angry, though now at myself and I needed to try and make things right between us. She suffers from an illness, I should have helped her deal with it, cope with it, like you'd help someone suffering from the flu or cancer. I just hated her for being sick, just like her mother hated her for being gay. She is both gay and an alcoholic and she should be hated for neither of those things.

* * *

By the time I got there, I had half of a pretty decent apology thought out in my head. But as I stepped out of my car, that quickly vanished from my mind.

Why do you ask?

Because as soon as I got out of my vehicle I saw a very familiar figure walking up the sidewalk. Wearing a conservative black dress and holding a shiny new bible.

It was none other than Tori's mother.

Holly Vega was the last person Jade wanted to see, JUST the sight of the holier than thou demon, strolling up the sidewalk was enough to sent Jade's anger off the charts.

"Oh no you don't" Jade growled ominously as she rushed towards the building.

Holly got to within 12 feet of the door to the apartment complex, before Jade ran up and blocked her way.

"Where in the **_hell_** do you think you're going?"

Holly glared intently at the Goth. "I'm going to see Tori! Now get out of my way!"

Standing firm, Jade shook her head. "That's not happening! You're not seeing anybody today! Tori especially."

The older woman then attempted to move around her, but Jade pivoted to block her once again. "What? Are you _deaf_, as well as brain-dead! You have no business here! Leave now!"

"Don't touch me, you filthy harlot!" Growled Holly.

_"Harlot?_" Laughed Jade, Mockingly. "That's the best you can come up with, an insult that probably hasn't been used in what?, 70 years?."

_**"LET ME PASS!"**_ screamed Holly.

_**"THE HELL I WILL!**_" Bellowed Jade, as the tension continued to rise. The two women who's hatred for each other knew now bounds, stood face to face and neither was going to back down.

"I will see Tori! And I have every right!"

"You have **_no_** right!"

"And you…have no right to stop me from doing God's work. All you've done, is corrupt my daughter. I do what I do out of love, my love and the love of God and Jesus Christ." Ranted Holly Vega, bitterly.

"You don't know a fucking thing about love! You're not supposed to put a price tag on love, but it seems that you didn't get the memo for that did you? After all you just don't have it in you to love your daughter even if she's gay!."

**_"SHE'S NOT GAY!_** She's been corrupted by you and I as God as my witness will turn her back to the path that God had intended for her. And I will be damned if I let you back into her life!"

"You let…did you honestly say, you let…..the only person that decides who Tori sees is Tori. Here's the thing, you blew your chance. But I still have one. I messed up. Yes, I'll admit to that, but not in the way you think. I hate alcoholics and I let that hatred get the best of me. It effected how I dealt with Tori's drinking problem. I couldn't accept it was an illness and I hated her for it. I looked down on her for it too. I have a lot to make up for and I will do what I need to do, to help Tori and make up for what I've done. All you want to do is take that bible and shove it down her throat!"

"How **_dare_** you speak to me like that? I am doing God's work."

From there the argument grew more and more heated, with loud, angry and hateful accusations being traded on the sidewalk.

Finally Jade blasted. "My great grandma, used to say, God don't like ugly and you with all your hatred and self-righteous bitch, are about as ugly as they come!"

Infuriated beyond measure, Holly slapped Jade across the face and forcibly shoved her back.

Jade however recovered quickly and within a second pulled from her boots a shiny pair of scissors. Jade took no time in aiming them directly at Holly's chest.

"Touch me again, I _dare_ you!"

_**"JADE STOP!"**_ Commanded Tori from the doorway.

Looking to the doorway, Holly and Jade could see both Trina and Tori standing in the doorway. Neither of which looked happy.

Holly pointed to Jade. "Thank heavens you intervened. This maniac was going to kill me. I'm calling the police."

Tori pointed to the scissors. "Put those away!"

Looking very displeased, Jade quickly complied.

Holly however looked very smug as she smiled and walked towards Tori. "I knew you'd come to your senses and take my…"

Holly's smile however, quickly faded as Tori's glare now turned towards her.

Paying no attention to the fact that her hands were shaking Tori, took a deep breath and confronted her mother.

"I'm not taking your side. I'll **_never_** take your side. I started to drink largely to deal with the fact that **_you_** rejected me."

"Tori..I…" Holly started to say.

Tori quickly cut her off. _**"SHUT UP!"**_

Holly's face quickly fell and for a moment her mouth continued to hang open.

"Mother you will listen to me. You know for a long time, I wanted you to accept me, but just now, listening to you two argue, I realized something. You never will. All the pain and the heartbreak and booze, it was for nothing. So I will finally accept the fact that you don't love me and there is not one thing I can do to change that. So you're going to take your bible, turn around and leave. Not only that you're never to call or contact me again. As far as I'm concerned, you're dead. The mother I knew doesn't exist anymore. I_** don't** _know you, I don't _want_ to know you. You're just an unwanted stranger who keeps trying to poke her nose into my life. So if you violate the restraining order I filed, I won't hesitate to call the police if you come within so much as 500 yards of me. Or maybe next time, I just won't bother to stop Jade. As of now…this moment…you Holly Vega, are dead to me."

Before the stunned looking Holly could even respond, Tori turned her back.

Holly Vega, then in desperation, turned to her eldest child, "Trina, _please_ talk some sense into your sister."

Trina only spits on the ground and like Tori turned her back on her mother.

"Jade?" Trina called out.

"Yeah?."

"If this person doesn't leave in sixty seconds, call 911. Please."

Pulling out her phone, Jade coldly looked to Holly, then herself turned her back on her.

"Sixty seconds." Called out Jade, to no one in particular.

Looking quite devastated, Holly Vega pleaded. "Please Girls."

Neither of them, moved nor said another word.

"45 seconds." Called out Jade.

Realizing she had lost both her daughters, Holly began to cry. "Please…I beg you, for the love of god."

"30 seconds."

A few seconds later, Holly Vega wiped her tears and walked away. The three women who pretty much disowened her didn't turned around until she was out of sight.

Once they heard the mottor of her car getting fainter as it left, Tori seemed to start shaking. "My god, I did it. I stood up to her. I did it."

Trina quickly hugged her sister. "Yes you did, I'm very proud of yoy baby sis."

After giving Jade a somewhat dubious look, Trina turned back to her sister. "I assume you two want to talk. Do you need me?"

Tori shook her head. "No. But thank you for standing with me."

After a nod, Trina turned and entered the building.

* * *

**_Jade's POV_**

We were alone and for a single moment, looked at each other in silence. She looked emotionally spent and simply by the way she was shifting her feet, I could tell she wasn't sure what to say next. I happened to be feeling very much the same way, amidst, my own emotional maelstrom.

Tori mentioned towards the stoop of the apartment building, "Sit with me."

Time was, sitting next to Tori would be something I would do without so much as a second thought. But this was different; it was awkward and I hated it. This thing that had come between us... It needed to end.

I sat down uneasily. "Sure."

Looking as ill-at ease as me, Tori sat down, but at the other end of the step, more than a foot away.

I can't help but feel hurt that she won't even sit right next to me, but as I said, _this thing?_, the specter of her addiction and my reaction to it, was happily ensconced between us.

I looked over to Tori, who looked off in the direction her mother had gone.

"Jade?"

"I was going to call you and tell you, that I wasn't going to be able to make the movie."

I nodded. "I know, Trina called, but I…"

The tinkling notes, of distant ice cream truck interrupted the conversation.

... "Jumped to conclusions. Assumed you fell off the wagon."

Tori brushed her hair back behind her ears, a nervous habit of hers. "I suffered a meltdown. I was afraid of you judging me."

She paused as I could hear her begin to choke up slightly. "Afraid, you'll never trust me, hold this over my head. Never….."

Then her voice went quiet, barely above a whisper. Even though I could barely hear it, the words were heartbreaking. "look at me the same again. Love me, like you used too."

As soon as she finished speaking she sighed and turned her attention not to me, but a crack in the sidewalk. She couldn't look at me and that was **_killing me._**

"Tori, Trina let me have it and she didn't pull any punches. She accused me of not only wanting her to fail but likened me to your mother."

It was only then Tori looked at me, as she vigeriously shook her head. "No, you're not…"

I quickly waived my hand to cut her off. "She was right. After I hung up the phone and started to calm down I thought about it. I really thought about it. I hated alcoholics, ever since one**_ killed_** my mother. That was no secret, but even I didn't realize the depth of my hatred. I felt superior to them, had nothing but contempt for them. You were struggling and I let my feelings affect my actions. I like your mother refused to accept something about you, that you couldn't help. In her case that you were gay and in my case, you had an illness. At times I thought you were just weak or just were trying to torment me."

"I wasn't Jade, honestly."

"Yes I know that_ now_... I think I'm gonna have to thank your sister later on for yelling at me... I won't kill her for that... _This time_... Since she actually was a big factor that made me realize my mistakes. You had a problem and I simply hated you for it. Now I'm not excusing what you did. I can't do that. I wish I could just say it was ok, but at this point in time, it's something I'm not capable of. But what I am doing is admitting that I emotionally left you, long before I moved out and in doing so, only made the situation worse. Your meltdown, I'd say it was justified. I am sorry."

It was painful and hard to admit that. It would have been so much easier to simply hate her. I had to fight against my own feelings to get it out.

I carefully studied Tori's reaction and again she brushed her hair behind her ear and shifted in place as she seemed to process what I had just said.

"Is that why you came here? To apologize?"

"Yes, but I hadn't counted on your... mo..._ that unpleasant_ person showing up. It just went to hell after that."

"I heard what you said."

"And you let me say it again." I joked darkly, regretting it almost instantly, when she flinched "Sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

Tori wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "I needed you to say it to me. I'm sorry I hurt you. I can apologize a million times and it_ still_ wouldn't be enough."

"I'm proud of you for standing up to her. I really am."

"I was terrified the entire time."

"You did good."

"Jade?"

"Yes."

"I have a question and I need you to be honest. Completely honest, even if you think it will hurt me. Will you do that?"

I had a feeling I knew what she was going to ask. "I may not like it but yes... I'll tell you what you need to hear."

"Jade, I'm an alcoholic. I always will be one. I can never drink again and I will struggle with this until the day I die. I will do what I need to do to make things up to you. I will do what I need to do to _get_ you back."

Tori then started to cry, causing my heart to tremble. "Cause I love you and I miss you every day. I want you back so badly, it hurts. I will do anything to get you back, to have you say you love me, even if that means starting over from scratch. But I need to know, if you can. If you can ever look at me and see the woman that you love and not just an alcoholic. Cause if you can't love and accept me for the person I am, be there for me. If you can't, then I need you to leave. I need you to leave and never come back. Can you love me for who I am?"

That speech, spoken though tears and with a broken heart, hit me hard. Only reinforcing how shitty I felt for how I treated her. Goddamn it, this was the woman I loved and I wasn't there for her.

Tears streaming down my face, I got up, walked over to where she was sitting and knelt down at her feet. Still crying, I could see the pain and anguish in her brown eyes.

"Yes I can, I know I can. We've got a long way to go. I have things to make up for and you do as well. We damaged each other pretty bad but I know we can fix each other... I... I miss you. I miss my best friend. I miss when you'd let me brush your hair at night. I miss your pancakes, I miss sitting in a bubble bath with you. I miss my Tori. I say I can, because I still love you. I was a terrible girlfriend and I don't think I'll ever forgive myself fow how I made you feel the say way I know you will never really forgive yourself for letting me down but you know what? We both made mistakes, no relationship is ever perfect so all we can do is take one step at a time."

Tori wiped her tears. "I know we can't just go back, we'll have to rebuild it, but I will do what I need to do."

"I will too. I'll even go to your meetings." I need to, I need to see these people, meet these people, see their pain and their struggles.

"Jade if it will help you, there is a support group for families of alcoholics. I think that might be better, it's more tailored to people in your situation. You can sit in on mine, but I think this will help."

"I will."

We had a tender moment, but I felt that for now I needed to step back, before we did anything that we'd regret later on, so I let go, stood up and took a step back.

Tori also stood up, pulled out her phone and looked at the time. "I'm sorry for all this drama today. But think we can still make the movie. I know we're both emotional wrecks right now, but I'm still game. I need a friend and I think you need one too."

"Sounds good.. But you know what Tori? If you don¡t mind I think I want to skip the movie"

"Really? Why?"

"Because I can tell that what you need is a quet evening at home, not to be at some cinema.. So how about we go inside, order some food and watch some TV.. just like... old times"

Tori's smile seemed like it was going to break her face in half.

"I'd like that"

Both women got inside, with a much higher spirit.

* * *

Above the couple, two young girls looked down at them, mistified at what just transpired.

"Looks like we didn't have to squat for them" Jadelyn said "Great, I just lost some sexy time with Victoria" The Goth gave her Doppelgänger a menacing glare "Thanks a lot"

"You're welcome" Jade replied wickedly "My Tori on the other hand will give kisses and nudity when I get back"

"You are just _begging_ me to stab you"

"As if you could" Jade shrugs "But since this is_ technically_ mission accomplished we can go to our respective universes, a portal should open in an hour or so, so I'm getting some coffee while we wait.

Jadelyn simply scowled at her duplcate "I hate you so fucking much"

* * *

_**And... That's a wrap., it's done! The finale! YAY!**_

_**Once again, special thanks to Quitting Time for helping me with this final chapter.**_

_**Also, the Jade and Jadelyn that appeared at the end are from the fic "Double Trouble" which was written by Quitting Time and were borrowed with permission.**_

_**Invader Johnny Signing Off.**_


End file.
